So, a bunch of people decided to come together and ‘roast’ a few others. They made jokes about each other which, to say the least, were filthy. They laughed and pointed fingers at each other’s (homo)sexuality and weight. They made fellatio gestures and derided people’s skin colour. Obscenity flowed like champagne at a Salman BHAI birthday party or what Charlie Sheen describes as breakfast. They even had fleeting references to the R-word in a joke; that forbidden word which is used to describe the interaction between a chutiya phallus and an unconsenting female. They spoke in a language so derogatory that made even His Holiness Jaikishan Shroff cringe and say “Maushichigand, yeh wala sentence toh jyada ho gaya”.

But enough about the Delhi Elections.

The AIB Knockout video has yet again stoked the ever-so-entertaining debate on Freedom of Expression, a basic right that can be exercised by any law abiding citizen of this country as long as they are not a female, immigrants of North East or worse, an AAP supporter. As it happens with the any issue in India involving rude language, PDA or logic, the backlash has been immediate. A member of the Censor Board tweeted that the show was pornographic in nature, after which he gave a U certification to ‘Sunny Leone performing sandhya aarti with pizza delivery guy’. The participants of the show are being accused of shamelessly indulging in the Great Indian Fuck Fest, which poses a threat to the very foundation of our society. FIR has now been registered against the producers, organisers, writers, audience members, YouTube and the root cause of all this obscenity, Humour.

The video has received strong protest from several members of the group called the Protectors-of-Indian-Culture, who seem to be having the intellectual quotient of a Sajid Khan movie. People of these groups generally hang around the MNS office and have words like ‘sentiments’ and ‘offended’ tattooed on their foreheads. For once, I think that their efforts preserving our culture should be applauded. Clearly without such sanskari sperms being the vanguards of our democratic values, we all would have turned into a bunch of Neanderthals, dancing around fire and killing each other for some imaginary guy in the sky. In that respect, they are like the Night’s Watch to The WALL of Bhartiya Sanskriti, guarding its frontiers from the likely invasions of White Walkers, or as they are called in India, Western values.

Of course, it is not the first time that people have voiced their anger against such foul-mouthed twats. Last time I heard, politician joked about how rape is nothing but an innocent mistake of a boy on a public platform, his son was beaten up with the Chief Minister’s chair and he was humiliated publicly by conferring upon him the derogatory title of ‘Netaji’.

But now, after all the hullabaloo, the video has been pulled down by AIB. They issued a statement, which made more sense than BJP’s vision document for Delhi. They also explained through a google hangout why they did what they did and how they did it. However, my question is will that solve the crisis at hand? Will the disturbance in the force be contained, now that such filth has been perpetrated on our civil society?

The video was seen by nearly 8 million people or as they are called in Mumbai, Virar Local. It was liked, shared, tweeted, downloaded, torrented by several more. By now, it must have reached the innocent youth of this country who are baptised by 2 boond of Alok Nath’s sweat. I can imagine that the kids who have grown up on the ideals of honesty, truth and Bal Narendra surviving a crocodile attack, will be scarred for life on hearing that all one needs is a good ol’ fuck, KJo position, to lead a happy life. People might start using  rude gestures in public like slapping an invisible badonkadonk while rolling their eyes over or passing thunderous smelly farts, backing it up with a smile of a meditating monk. I am now just hoping that the video does not find its way to ISIS who might use it to make a big, fat nuclear bomb, or as AIB calls it, Tanmay Bhat.

The controversy once again proved two things. First, as a community, our ability to digest humour has still not evolved from Whatsapp jokes about Madrasis, harangued husbands, Santa Banta, and worst of all, Gutthi. Second, we still live in an age where ‘Choice’ is a birth-control pill, and not a rational act to make a decision based upon one’s judgement, merit, penchant or intuition. The people who felt offended by the video had a choice. They could have logged out of YouTube and continued with their social work of marrying off couples who poke each other on facebook. Yet, they saw it, hated it and filed a complaint against it. This is like going to a concert expecting Anup Jalota when the ticket clearly mentions Honey Singh, and then burning the whole place down, because that is how they roll. Krantikari, bahut hi Krantikari.

Anyways, I hope that like AIB, people get more crazy ideas to develop creative content. Afterall, we do need humour when we are done watching that sandhya aarti. And, I am sure that we will see more of such videos coming up, where people will curse, vilify, make sexual innuendos and spit on each other’s faces. Afterall, the Parliament will meet soon for its Budget session. Till then, #JeSuisBakchod.


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